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 i have lost myself again, tag: roxanne
LUCIA Y. COSTA
 Posted: Dec 10 2014, 10:06 PM
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28 posts
25 years old
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© Cee
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I thought of you and where you'd gone and the world spins madly on


breathe me
i have lost myself again

The night was colder than Lucia had expected and though she'd bundled up a bit for her trip between the brownstone she called home and the club she'd be meeting Roxanne at, she still shivered and trembled. Standing in the pool of light under a streetlight, she watched, waiting for the cab she'd called. The street was quiet, only one or two college aged kids running across the middle of the street towards a house with an open front door, light and loud music spilling out onto the street. She watched a few minutes as a few skinny hipsters gathered around the door to smoke before the cab pulled up and off she went, curled into the black leather of the backseat.

The ride was brief and quiet. The driver made no conversation, only listened to his music low while Lucia stared out the window at the passing city. She was in a contemplative mood now, mind half on Norah, half on the night ahead. A drink would be more than just needed. Earned by spending any moments this evening thinking on her grief. She deserved it, even if it wasn't the healthiest thing to do to drown her sorrows in alcohol. Sometimes it was all there was.

As they pulled up in front of the club, the driver looked back at her. "This where you want to go?" He sounded doubtful but she nodded, handed him cash and slid out of the back seat, pausing at the curb as she looked at the bright lights of the front sign before heading into the bar. The heat struck her first, a sharp contrast to the cool of the outdoors. It was darker than she'd expected and full of the kind of clientele you'd expect at a joint like this. Roxanne wasn't immediately apparent so Lucia simply headed for the bar, eyes straight ahead and locked onto an empty seat at one end. Away from eyes, not terribly close to the stage. She settled, glanced around the bar, then waited for a bartender, not rushing for her drink just yet.

not the best post, will improve
© cassie at atf.
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ROXANNE N. MARLOWE
 Posted: Dec 18 2014, 10:43 AM
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28 posts
27 years old
stripper
© DINO
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when i woke up i had everything; a handful of moments i wish i could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.


radioactive
welcome to the new age
The night was cool and caused goosebumps to form on her bare legs, but it was nothing Roxanne could not handle. She had grown up in a house where there was hardly ever heating in any way, because it was simply too expensive or the bills had not been paid properly, once again. People often felt pity when they learnt about the rough past she had had, even if they would never know the full length of it. Some things were not meant to be told and the blonde never let people quite close enough for her to share her intimate details with. Maddox knew, they were so close he knew everything about her and he had managed to not despise her for the things she had done to survive, or the thing that haunted her because now that she older, she knew it had been the worst thing she had done. But she would not tell the gorgeous woman she had met in a chatbox that she had purposefully burnt her house down, because it was the only way her sixteen year old self had believed both her and her mother could be free from the grip of her tyrannical and abusive stepfather.

But they were not topics to be mentioned in any way. It was dark outside as she tried to hail a cab, not many dared to cross the streets in Queens at night because of the sinister figures that lingered in the dark alleyways and corners of the streets, but Roxanne had lived in Queens ever since she had gotten to NYC when she was eighteen, and unfortunately she was also a known face with the heads of the gangs that ran the borough, since her boss held closed nights in which they would gather and watch the girls dance. The stripper did not agree with these nights and she had voiced her opinion on them, but Maddox was not moved by it in any way, and in the end when it came to the club, he was still one step higher than her in hierarchy. Fortunately though the gangs knew to leave her alone, that she was neutral and that she did not have that much to give. Her hips swayed as she got out of the cab and into the club, slowly unbottoning her coat as she did so. She did not go inside via the back door, because she was not working tonight and did not fancy being sent to work anyways because they were short on people again and it was chaos behind the curtains. It happened more often than she truly liked.

Her smile was genuine as she greeted the bouncer at the side the door. Patrick was tall as a house and equally muscular and broad, and he served as the main security for the girls, a job he did that they were all very grateful for. Normally she'd stop for a chat, but Roxanne did not want her potential new friend waiting for too long in a club where she could hardly be comfortable. Because even though it would be obvious that Lucia was not a stripper even if only by the air she carried around that was far more gentle and less snooty, they would still oogle her like she was a fine piece of meat. Eyes turned as Roxanne strode through the club, her blue eyes scanning through the crowd until she found the girl she was looking for, her body moving with the rhythm of the music. "Hey you. Did you have to wait long for me?" Roxanne said with a smile, before flagging the bartender with a smile and telling her exactly the amount of shots she wanted. Kelli looked at her like she was in insane, but the blonde really did not care. "So we can sit here, drink and talk. We can even dance, if you're up for it."

660 words | outfit | for lucia, sorry for the wait!

© darren criss

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LUCIA Y. COSTA
 Posted: Jan 4 2015, 02:43 AM
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28 posts
25 years old
Community Organizer
© Cee
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I thought of you and where you'd gone and the world spins madly on


breathe me
i have lost myself again

Even tucked away into the corner of the club, out of the path of most of the clientele, Lucia could still feel the stares of a few otherwise unoccupied men on her. She knew it was clear to anyone that she wasn't one of the strippers at the club but perhaps that was the lure for the few that noticed her. A girl they didn't have to pay to tell them all the things they wanted to hear, there was likely some lure for them there. Besides, she supposed unattached women who weren't employed here weren't the most common sight, she might be a novelty. It didn't much matter though, Lucia kept her eyes squarely on the bar and, once she'd ordered a drink, on the glass in front of her. There was nothing for her in any of those unwelcome stares or the hungry men behind them. One passed close by, reached out to grab the seat next to her but she reached out, placed her palm flat on it. "Waiting for a friend." She didn't even spare him a glance and he bit out an insult before leaving.

Ill at ease, she nearly repeated her gesture when she felt more than heard the approaching presence of someone at her back. But before she could reflexively reach out to save the chair, she heard a woman's voice. Roxanne. Some of the tension in her shoulders flowed out and she finally looked up, spared a half smile. "Not long. Long enough to have one creep come by but not too long." Turning her body slightly to face more towards Roxanne, she lifted her glass and took a sip of the gin and tonic she'd ordered. "Let's sit and talk. At least for now. We'll see how we're feeling a few drinks from now." Crossing her legs at the knee, she watched Roxanne, kept her focus on her companion and not on the men whose eyes had followed Roxanne from the door to where they sat.

"Thanks for coming out to meet me. I really needed to get out of the house." Lucia said gratefully. "It's too easy to be a hermit these days. I get out to go to work and run errands but it's just too easy to stay home." Getting out of the house on a night like this one felt surprisingly good, the change of scene making Lucia feel more alive. Still, she couldn't totally settle the uneasiness at watching the crowd. Not something she was used to anymore. So, despite her best efforts to remain relaxed outwardly, she fidgeted, wrapping a curl around a finger and only barely resisting the urge to brush her fingers against the rings she always wore on a chain around her neck. "I haven't been out to a club like this... Well, really any club in so long. I can't even remember the last time. Probably before..."

But she stopped. Talking about her late wife wasn't the point of tonight. Lucia didn't want to be a downer yet again. "Nevermind. It's a nice place. Good change of pace for me."

not the best post, will improve
© cassie at atf.
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ROXANNE N. MARLOWE
 Posted: Mar 26 2015, 06:50 PM
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28 posts
27 years old
stripper
© DINO
Offline
when i woke up i had everything; a handful of moments i wish i could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.


see what I see

discover the truth behind the lies

Roxanne had grown accustomed to the stares of horny men trying to devour her with one look, because it was all they would ever get. She had been a stripper for so long, there were very few things that still phased her. Even now when she spent most of her time behind the bar, she was still used to men trying to flirt with her, get free drinks out of her, use her with the money they could have better spent on rekindling their romance with their wives. But mankind was torturously stupid, and prone to making the same mistakes over and over again, no matter the cost. They gave in to their most basic desires, the primitive instincts that hardly separated man from beast. She had seen and counter the seven deadly sins gathering in many of her customers, and yet she had learned to smile and pretend that she desired their hungry stares. Roxanne had had several occasions to leave this lifestyle behind, but the opportunities had come too late. She had made herself a home with the strippers, cared for her girls more than anyone or anything. People considered it strange, but for Roxanne Marlowe it was the most normal thing in the world.

Yet tonight was not to ponder too much on her own personal life, no in its center stood the chance to cheer up a very beautiful, grieving lady. Hearing Lucia's tale had broke the blonde's heart, because she knew the pain that came with a mourning heart, and how it had the ability to swallow one up completely. And thus she made her way over to her club rapidly, not wanting to leave Lucia alone with the customers she served for longer than she had to. And her smile widened at the sight of her, excited and determined to give her a night that she could remember as fun, no matter in what way she would have to achieve that. "Ah yes. Unfortunately much of my clientele exists out of obnoxious perverts. They deem themselves rather desirable, but in many cases I'd have to disagree." The stripper mused with a kind smile, stalling out the shots in front of both her and Lucia, each a row containing an equal amount of tiny glasses with amber-coloured liquid. "Drink up. Nothing to get a night started than an insane amount of good liquor. Cheers!"

And down they want, one after another, with the ease of an alcoholic. Yes, Roxanne had been drinking for very many years, and as the rebellious teen she had been, it had not stayed with one or two drinks. Her blue eyes focused on her companion as the woman began to thank her for agreeing to meet her, trailing off at the mention of her deceased loved one. "I know. Yet grief is so much more bearable with people around who understand. And who know when to not bring it up." She said, caressing her hand over Lucia's in an affectionate motion. It was not meant as a flirtation, though it could be, if Lucia was ready for such a thing. But by the looks of it, she was not and Roxanne respected people's needs more than anything. "So tell me more about yourself instead! I'm dying to know more about your secrets. Especially how you manage to maintain those luscious curls." The woman said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she locked gazes with her newfound friend, flagging the bartender again for refills.

lucia 591 words outfit
dear god so sorry for the ridiculously long wait x.x

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LUCIA Y. COSTA
 Posted: Apr 23 2015, 12:55 AM
Quote
28 posts
25 years old
Community Organizer
© Cee
Offline
I thought of you and where you'd gone and the world spins madly on


breathe me
i have lost myself again

She'd been headshy about coming out, so unused to the dark crowded spaces of clubs after a long break away from anything of the like. But Lucia couldn't deny that there was something familiar, comfortable about the way she could sink into shadows, tuck into a corner and just inhale that somehow smokey air and it could feel all like her youth again, being barely old enough to pass for twenty one and sneaking into bars where no one carded. Before the days she spent so tired and sad and heartbroken, consistently lost and alone. But this was not what she wanted to dwell on, not with Roxanne next to her and the night before them stretching out endlessly. "I can't say there's one client in here I'd ever want to spend a moment more than absolutely necessary with." Lucia agreed, sparing a disinterested glance around the club. Most of the men had rerouted their attention back to the stage but every now and then, roving eyes seemed to cast over them, looking too long. Lucia only shook her head slightly and focused back on her companion.

As the glasses were set and the alcohol was poured, Lucia watched with mild interest. Alcohol, she never said no to that, though it had been ages since she'd really been out drinking with someone else. "Cheers." She lifted the first in front of her and gulped it down, fast as she could, burn masking any semblance of taste, one mouthful followed by another and another, enough to leave the slow-to-fade burn down her throat and into her stomach. Maybe it would be enough to make the painful knot of memories that tightened uncomfortably anytime she started to have fun loosen itself, come undone entirely, if only for one rare night of freedom. Just once. Her head tipped in a quiet of acknowledgement of Roxanne's words. "It is. Harder to be around people who haven't ever lost anything." But she didn't want to dwell. Not this time. Not tonight.

So she focused on the request to tell Roxanne more about herself. That she could do. There was a whole world outside of her wife, a life before and after that Lucia could talk about without that clench of pain. "There's nothing really to this hair." Almost self-consciously, she reached up, curling a tightly coiled curl around a finger, pulling it down slightly and then letting it go. "Curls run in the family. I just put a little gel in it to keep it from getting frizzy and then... go. If I had some great secret, I promise I'd share." She offered a smile, rare but warm, only a slight curve to her mouth. "There isn't much to tell. I've been here for years and-" She paused when the bartender came over, ordered a gin and tonic in lieu of another round of shots, which she wasn't sure she was ready for quite yet. "I don't know, not much to tell. You know the big things already really. I guess..." Lucia paused, tapping a finger against the bartop. "I think I told you already I'm from Morocco- Well, no I'm from Portugal but I grew up in Morocco. That's interesting and true, I suppose." She shrugged. "What about yourself? You've probably got more interesting things to tell than me."

not the best post, will improve
© cassie at atf.
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